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Da Jesus Book - Matthew

Matthew 12

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1Had one time, was da Jewish Rest Day, an Jesus an his guys wen walk thru da fields wea dey grow da wheat. His guys was real hungry. Dey wen pick litto bit wheat fo eat.
2But had Pharisee guys ova dea dat wen see um do dat, an dey tell Jesus, “Eh, how come! Dese guys, you teaching dem, but still yet dey stay doing da kine stuff dey not suppose to do on da Rest Day!”
3Jesus tell um, “Wot! You guys neva read inside da Bible wat David wen do, da time wen him an his guys was hungry?
4He go inside Godʼs spesho house, an eat da bread dass spesho fo God. But no can do dat kine, cuz Godʼs Rules say dat ony da priest guys can eat um. But David, he eat um, an he give um to his guys too cuz dey hungry, an dass okay.
5Wot! You guys neva read inside da Bible how da priest guys inside da temple gotta do tings on da Rest Day dat go agains da Godʼs Rules? But wen dey do um, dey no broke Godʼs Rules.
6I tell you strait, get one guy ova hea mo importan den dat temple. Dass me!
7Da Bible say, ‘I like my peopo make good to each odda an give each odda chance. Dat mo betta den jus make sacrifice inside da temple.’ If you guys wen know wat dis mean, den you guys no say dey wen broke Godʼs Rules, cuz dey neva.
8I da Guy Dass Fo Real. I da one, da boss fo da Rest Day.”
9Wen Jesus go way, he go inside da Jewish church.
10An you know wat? Get one guy dea, his hand stay all any kine. Dey aks Jesus, “Stay okay fo make um come good on da Rest Day, o wat?” Dey say dat cuz dey like bus um.
11He tell um, “If one a you guys get one sheep dat fall down inside one hole on da Rest Day, you goin grab um an pull um out, yeah?
12You tink one sheep mo importan den one guy? So, az okay fo do good kine stuff on da Rest Day.”
13Den he tell da guy wit da hand dat stay all any kine, “Stick out yoa hand.” An da guy stick um out, an da hand wen come good, jalike da odda hand.
14But da Pharisee guys, dey go outside fo make plan togedda how dey goin kill Jesus.
15Jesus wen know wat dey talking bout, so he go way from ova dea. Choke peopo go wit him, an he make all da sick peopo come good.
16He tell dem dey betta not tell da odda guys who him.
17Wen he do dis, dat make um happen jalike Isaiah wen say. (He da guy dat wen talk fo God long time ago, you know.) He say:
18“Eh, try listen! Dis da guy dat work fo me. He da guy I wen pick. I get love an aloha fo him, I stay real good inside cuz a him. I goin give him my Spirit, An he goin teach da peopos all ova da world wat stay right.

19He no goin make argue o yell. Nobody goin hear him talking loud in da street.
20Da stick dat ready fo broke, he no goin broke um, Da small fire dat ready fo pio, he no goin put um out, Till bumbye he make everybody do how dey suppose to.
21All da peopos all ova da world goin trus him, Cuz dey goin know who him.”
22Dey bring one guy dat get one bad kine spirit dat take ova him. Da guy no can see o talk, cuz da spirit no let um. An Jesus make da spirit let go da guy, an make da guy come good, so he can talk an see.
23Da peopo, blow dea minds, an dey say, “Eh, dis da guy from King David ohana dat da Bible wen talk bout befo time, o wat?”
24Da Pharisee guys hear dat, an dey say, “Nah! Was Beelzebul, da Devil. He da leada guy fo da bad kine spirits, you know, an he da one wen give dis guy da power fo make da spirit let go da guy, az why!”
25Jesus wen know wat dey tinking. He tell um, “Da country dat beef each odda, dey ony bus up dea own self. Da town o da ohana dat beef each odda, no can stay strong.
26If da Devil make his own guys let go da peopo, den he going agains himself. How he goin stay one strong king?
27If dea boss Beelzebul give me power fo make da bad kine spirits let go da peopo, who give yoa guys dat kine power? Den wat? Yoa own guys goin show dat you guys stay wrong!
28But if I make da bad kine spirits let go da peopo cuz I get power from Godʼs Spirit, dat show dat God stay King, an he taking ova, ova hea now.
29How you tink one guy goin go bus inside one big moke house an rip off his stuffs? First, he gotta tie up da moke! Den can steal everyting.
30If you no stay wit me, den you stay agains me. Da guy dat no work wit me, he ony work agains me.
31Dass why I telling you guys, God can let peopo go an hemo dea shame fo all da kine bad stuff dey doing, no matta dey talk stink. But if dey talk stink bout Godʼs Good an Spesho Spirit, he no goin let um go an hemo da shame fo dat.
32I da Guy Dass Fo Real. Whoeva talk agains me, God goin let um go an hemo da shame fo dat. But whoeva talk agains Godʼs Good an Spesho Spirit, God no goin let um go an hemo dea shame fo dat, now o foeva.
33“You gotta figga lidis: Wen da tree good, den da fruit good. Wen da tree junk, den da fruit junk. Cuz da fruit goin show if da tree stay good o junk.
34You guys jalike one snake ohana! You guys no good. How you guys goin talk good wen you guys not? Wateva stay inside you guys, goin come outa you guys mout.
35Da good guy, he good inside, an he do good kine stuff. Da bad guy, he bad inside, an he do bad kine stuff.
36I tell you guys strait, da day every guy stand in front God da Judge, he gotta tell how come he wen say all da no good stuff he wen say.

37Cuz from wat you say, da Judge goin let you go, o he goin punish you.”
38Some teacha guys dat teach Godʼs Rules, an some Pharisee guys come by him. Dey say, “Eh, Teacha, we like see proof dat you get power!”
39But he tell um, “Da guys nowdays dat do bad kine stuff an fool aroun behind Godʼs back, dey everytime like see proof, but dey ony goin see one proof jalike Jonah. He da guy dat wen talk fo God long time ago.
40Jonah wen stay inside one big fish three days an three nites. Same ting, I Da Guy Dass Fo Real, an I goin stay unda da groun three days an three nites lidat.
41“Da peopo inside Nineveh town goin stand in front God da Judge fo show proof dat da guys dat stay hea nowdays, dey doing bad kine stuff. Cuz da Nineveh peopo wen come sorry fo all da bad kine stuff dey wen do, an stop doing um, wen Jonah wen teach dem. But you guys, neva. An one guy mo importan den Jonah stay hea now. Dass me.
42“Da queen from Sheba far away da sout side goin stand in front God da Judge an show dat da peopo dat stay hea nowdays, dey doing bad kine stuff. Cuz she wen come from far away fo listen King Solomon an all da smart stuff he wen say. But you guys neva listen. An one guy mo importan den Solomon stay ova hea wit you guys now. Dass me.
43“Wen one bad kine spirit let go one guy, dat spirit go all ova da boonies fo find one place fo rest, but no can find notting.
44Den he say, ‘Eh, mo betta I go back to da place I wen stay befo.’ Wen he go dea, da guy jalike one place dat stay empty cuz dey wen sweep um an fix um up.
45Den da bad spirit go get seven mo spirits dat mo worse den him, an dey all go back to da guy, an take um ova one mo time. Da guy who wen get da bad kine spirit come mo worse den befo. Az why hard fo da bad guys nowdays. Dey goin come mo worse den befo.”
46Wen Jesus stay talking to da peopo, had his mudda an brudda guys ova dea too, standing outside. Dey like talk to him.
47One guy tell um, “Eh, yoa mudda an yoa bruddas, dey outside, an dey like talk to you.”
48Jesus tell da guy, “Eh! Who you figga my mudda? Who you figga my bruddas?”
49Den he poin to da guys he teaching, an he say, “Dese guys, dey my mudda an my bruddas.
50Cuz whoeva do da tings my Fadda in da sky say, dey my brudda, an my sista, an my mudda.”